Social Manner : Controlling The Tongue

Allah has blessed us with lot of blessings and one of the rudimentary blessingsis the creation of our tongue. Besides other functions its main function is to speak and express what we want. Indeed small in size, but it plays an important role in our life. Controlling tongue is the basic teachings of Islam. It can construct as well as destruct which can make us dweller of heaven or hell; alldepends on how we use it. 

Prophet SAW said, when man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, fear Allah as regards us for we are at your mercy,if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked ,we become crooked. And Prophet SAW said, a man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the hell fire fartherthan the distance between the East and West; Sahih Bukhari. Imam Shaafi RtAsaid, if a person wants to say something, he should think about it. If it seems to him that it will not do any harm, and then he should speak, but if he thinks that it will do some harm or he thinks that this is most likely, and then he should refrain from speaking. Prophet SAW said, blessed is the man who speaks good and is triumphant, or keeps silent in the face of evil and is secure. 

If a man is not able to say something useful, he should keep silent from bad words. Bad use of tongue is a major sin and major sins are indeed the cause for all misery and torment in this world and hereafter. No one can control his tongue except the wisest. Only wise person knows that keeping tongue under control means to take control over all bad things. Such a person will refrain from all evil deeds prohibited in Islam like, Backbiting, slandering, vain talks,excessive talks, lying, foul language, taunting, indecency, anger and many more. 

Backbiting is a major sin usually involving use of tongue. There is not any home (exceptions may be there) where back biting is not the major issue. Wherever we get together, (parties, marriage ceremonies or condolences),backbiting is the norm. It is such a sin which destroys our relationships, creates enmity and vanquishes peace in our lives as well as families. Shaikh ul Islam Ibn Tymiyyah said that it is strange that a person may find it easy to protect himself from eating haram (unlawful), oppression & injustice, adultery, theft,drinking Khamar and from unlawful looking, but it is hard for him to restrain the movement of his tongue. How often do we see people who are very cautious about falling into shameful deeds and injustice, but their tongue lashes against the living and the dead and they don’t mind it. He further said, some people have the disease of criticizing all the time. They forget the good about others and only mention their faults. They are like flies that avoid the good and pure places and land on the bad places and on wounds. This is because of the evil within the self and the spoiled nature. 

Once Prophet SAW took his tongue and then said, keep this under control. When the Sahaba RdA asked, will we be called to account for what we say; He replied, won’t the people be thrown face down into hell on account of the produce of their tongues; Tirmidhi. Allah says, “O you who have believed, do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of hisbrother when dead. You would detest it. And fear Allah, indeed, Allah is accepting of repentance and merciful”, Al Hujurat 12. Abu Hurayrah RdAnarrated the Prophet SAW said; do you know what backbiting is, they said,Allah and his Messenger know best. He then said, it is to say something about your brother that he would dislike. Someone asked Him, but what if what I say is true, he replied, if what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him. 

Backbiting is considered a great sin in Islam, because it breaks the unity of a family and members develop hatred amongst each other. It destroys the relationships to the extent that parents go against their children, brothers andsisters go against each other and at last family loses its total charm. The tongue a small soft flesh; yet capable of breaking the strongest bonds and destroying the most powerful of relationships. Almost every family is facing the bad consequences of this major sin.