Husband-Wife : In Search Of Peace

A million dollar tip for a peaceful life is patience. It is very essential for a successful marriage as difficulties may arise in married life at different levels. Today husband wife relationship experiences strain because of the stressful life, busy schedules, aging parents, chronic health issues, raising kids, financial problems & the list goes on. Life will not be free of strain and stress, so patience is must.

Why our families have so many disputes now a day? It is because we usually select spouses on the basis of beauty or wealth; whether he or she has Taqwa (God fearing quality) or not is left as a secondary issue or not an issue at all. Prophet (SAW) says: “A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons; wealth, social status, beauty & deen piety) so seek the one with deen—may you then be successful’’ (Bukhari, Muslim).

Marriage is one of the most important decisions to start a new life and Islam is clear on the kind of wife a man should be seeking. The prophet said “marry with one who has deen (Islamic way of life)”, so the first and important thing which a man must look while selecting his spouse is to see her relationship with the Creator. How much God fearing she is as only fear of God demands her to follow all the instruction of Allah and his Prophet (SAW) regarding all fields. That girl remains obedient to her husband and gives him full respect because her Creator orders her to do so. Done so, a home becomes a peaceful abode.

Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by him in the Quran in surah Ahzab; so choose your spouse for the following attributes: A Muslim woman, A believing woman, A devote woman, A true woman, A woman who is patient and constant, A woman who humbles herself, A woman who gives charity, A woman who fasts, A woman who guards her chastity, A woman who engages much in Allah’s praise. Prophet (SAW) said: “when a person gets married he has completed half of his religion so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half”.

Our main purpose of life is to worship Allah so that our hereafter is successful.That is why prophet ordered to marry a religious woman. It is only religion which fulfils the true purpose of marriage. A religious wife supports you in your Islamic mission. She makes your children true slaves of Almighty Allah. She makes home a peaceful abode by fulfilling all the commandments of Allah and avoiding all the forbidden things. She makes this union an everlasting even after death.

Prophet (SAW) said that the best property a man can have is a remembering tongue about Allah, a grateful heart and a believing woman who helps him in his faith. It is because piety and character is more important than the wealth rank and beauty. A true religious woman fulfils all her responsibilities which Islam demands from her and remains patient in all situations as Allah orders her to remain patient. A woman who lacks these credentials even though she may be far ahead in other parameters may make the life of her husband miserable. Usually we see patience is not given the due space in difficulties of married life.

Spouses should be such as clothing is for our body i.e. comfortable, relaxing andhiding everything. Allah says that they, your wives are clothing (covering) for you and you too are clothing (covering) for them. Al-Qura; Surah 2 verse 187. Function of clothing is not only beautification, but it has many other functions as well. Clothes hide some physical defects (if any, like scars, burn marks etc) in our body and nobody around knows about it. In the same way if wife has some defect husband must hide this and if husband has some defects wife must hide this all. Clothes also help us to protect ourselves from heat cold and more, thus make us feel relaxed in extremes of weather. In the same way husband and wife should provide relaxation to each other and protect each other from all uncomfortable things. Clothes hide our private parts, in the same way husband and wife should keep in secrecy their private matters. Only true religious spouse fulfils all these conditions. 

A wife should always remain patient towards her husband, should favour him in every critical situation under Islamic principles, should never argue with her husband, should be attentive to the comfort and well being of her husband, should be thankful and show appreciation for what he does for the family. She should be polite, kind, confess her mistakes, should remain calm with her husband’s relatives. These qualities are essential for a successful marriage.

Prophet said: “the majority of hell is made up of women who were ungrateful to their husbands”. So a wife should remain grateful for all small and big things that come her way in the married life.